Let's talk about the word 'change'. Does it excite you or scare you? Perhaps you have a different relationship to the word.

For me, personally I don't fear change; I openly invite it where it provides the opportunity to move deeper into my own being and experience of life. I'm a seeker, always have been, always will be.
But here's the thing with seekers, they are constantly learning and growing and as this happens we are frequently being invited to re-assess where we are; and where we are headed.

Change is inevitable; it's truly the only thing that is guaranteed in life. The thing that causes our pain and suffering is our resistance towards it.

Radical change is not new to me; I gave up a well built engineering career with a triple figure salary to become a yoga teacher earning next to nothing. I built up a whole business, invested everything I had into it and when I realised it wasn't what I expected, I dissolved it and started again from scratch. When I realised I wasn't happy living where I was, I simply got in the car and drove north looking for a new home. Life is just too short and precious to live it unhappily, full of regrets. I'd rather sit in gut wrenching vulnerability and fear of not being able to support myself than push a wagon that doesn't feel aligned with my soul.

I see growth and pursuing new learnings as part of my responsibility as a yoga teacher and educator. If I don't evolve, continue to practice and study, then how can I help my students to grow? 

And, if I found a better way, a more effective means of moving towards the ultimate goal of yoga then I have a responsibility to share it, right??

So this is where I've found myself over the last 12 months, in a period of radical change really re-assessing the way I practice and share yoga.

Why walk away from packed out sweaty power yoga classes that lots of people loved?

Well here is the unfiltered truth and reality of it....

That style of practice hasn't served me for a long time, I just don't practice in that way anymore and on the rare occasion that I do, it's more for fun rather than part of my spiritual practice.
​Yet I found myself teaching in that way to meet other people's expectations and because well, the room was often packed and feedback was great, people love it, my ego loved it! 

It got to the point where I couldn't preach and share something that wasn't working for me. They say there is a honeymoon period with yoga practice, the first few years are awesome, we are exponentially growing and learning, life is getting better, and we start to feel amazing.
But then there is a time where we plateau, it might be after 1-2 years if might be 5, but we start to question what it's all about, where is it really taking us? At this point, we either walk away from it or start looking deeper...

For many years now I've understood clearly that to move forward and advance in our practice is to move towards deeper and deeper states of meditation, all of the great philosophical texts point us in this direction. For a long time I was happy to skip meditation, or make it a really casual affair, I was practicing largely physical ego /pursuit driven yoga.

A few years ago, in recognition of the importance of meditation I made a commitment to meditate every day for a year. I went through with it, didn't skip a day, but here's the thing. In that 365 days, I rarely if ever touched the depth of what I now know to be meditation. 

Then I was introduced to Tantric Hatha Yoga and really started to dive into the energetics of practice and a more systematic approach to moving towards deeper states of meditation, the physical practice became all about preparing for the meditation. It was only then that I really started to understand why all the fuss about meditation. I also started to really appreciate how the structure of a practice can impact upon the quality of mind/body, the results are repeatable because it is in fact a science. No guess work, you do a, b and c and you will get d. This was ground breaking for me.

While I always had a structure to my classes; they were based upon physical outcomes, or a philosophical teaching that I was trying to impart. Now I have a series of tools that get even deeper into our being, a way to reach what lies beyond the physical. The benefits of these practices linger for hours and give me more clarity and energy, it's a very different feeling in savasana dropping into spacious awareness as opposed to exhaustion.

I know within my heart that the way I'm practicing and teaching now, is far more likely to move students towards the ultimate goal of yoga. So with that said, how could I go back???

It's not the popular choice, this yoga is hard, it's gritty and it's not really for entertainment or fun. It's for spiritual growth, for systematically peeling away those layers that keep us from realising our true self, our innate potential.

I know it's unlikely that I'll fill rooms sharing this style of practice (especially in the early days) but I'm okay with that. It aligns with my soul and my desire to be the most potent, effective teacher that I can be (even if that that means a significant drop in cashflow). 

Importantly, please don't think that I'm knocking hot sweaty, fast paced classes here, they are needed and really important as a stepping stone into the world of yoga, just like Bikram Yoga and maybe even Goat Yoga. Whatever, gets you in the door and starts you on your path. All is valid. I'm not for a minute saying that my style of yoga is better, I'm just saying that this is what works for me right now and I have to share what feels authentic and true. 

This change has been in the works for over 12 months now; it was only my own insecurities and fear that held me back from pulling the trigger. The Covid-19 isolation has been a blessing, it's been like a practice immersion period for me which is so important for my own growth and development. It also created the perfect line in the sand, a time to move on to whatever waits on the other side.

When all of the restrictions break I won't be returning back to my previous studio teaching positions. I will however continue to lead the 200Hr Yoga Teacher Training Program at Zenko Yoga.  It's been an incredible 4.5 years at Zenko; I can't believe that I've taught over 1000 hours of classes from those lovely studios. I'm eternally grateful for the opportunity to be part of the Zenko teaching group and community and will never forget the day I first walked in and met Lauren or those rocking 9.30am Monday classes at Buddina!

As for the future at Bodhi Body, only time will tell.

This little birdy's wings are expanding again and it's time to leave the nest so they can continue to grow. In terms of what am I going to do from here, honestly I don't know.... 

I know I'll continue my new found love affair with practice, and I will get back to teaching on the Sunshine Coast sometime soon.  For now I'm happy to sit in the void, because I know this is where the magic arises from.

Google…ahh the very word sounds like music to my ears. I love that within a few seconds we can find ‘answers’ to pretty much any questions that we can imagine.  How did we survive before the invention of the world wide web?

I’m so guilty of relying on Dr Google for almost everything. Got something funky going on with my body, I’ll just type in a few symptoms and diagnose myself. Looking for inspiration, I’ll type a few key words and add ‘inspiring quote’ to the end of it. Need a yoga studio in a town I’m visiting, look it up and I'll get all the info I need. Want to get from Point A to B, yep plug that info in, talk to me phone and your every wish is my command. 

This is a really awesome thing, often very helpful but lately I’m starting to question the value of having so much information available at our fingertips. 

Firstly, anyone can post stuff on the internet, you don’t need to be a respected authority, you don’t even need to have half a clue what you are talking about, you can publish that stuff and it’s out there in the world for everybody to see.

Secondly, often you’ll find so many answers to your question that they will contradict one another, who is right and who is wrong. Often we choose the one that works best for us, not necessarily the ultimate reality,  just the one we want to hear, sound familiar?

On top of all of that we often don’t get the complete picture. Every human body is unique, every situation is unique, there is no one size fits all, how can we ever fully encompass and address the diversity that lies in front of us…

In some regards information can be really damaging, particularly when we don’t have the discernment to see if for exactly what it is, in many cases it’s just an ‘opinion’.

Here are a few recent experiences of mine that have got me pondering about the value of so much information readily available to us.

Exhibit A - Carpet Stains
I messed up my carpet with a small patch of coffee coconut water that had leaked in my bag. Went straight to Dr Google to find out what to do, after consulting multiple sites and following the instructions perfectly I attempted to fix the stain, only the suggested remedies made it worse. So what next, call in an expert. Turns out I did all the wrong things and made the situation way worse than it needed to be - an expensive mistake. Lesson learnt. 

My advice here go straight to the person who does it for a living, not the random person who made a little boo boo on their carpet, picked up some household products, decided to film their handy work and magically made it disappear. While people have good intentions in sharing this information, every case is unique and different (what type of carpet you have, now long the spill has been there etc) and its not always a one size fits all approach.

Exhibit B - Advice on how to practice/teach yoga
Every now and then an article comes up in my news feed that catches my attention ’10 Alignment Cues you should stop using’ ‘how to stabilise the shoulders in chaturanga’, the list goes on an on.  Ever notice how you click on one and then all of a sudden all you are seeing is similar stuff come up in your news feed ? 
I often click on them and have a read, I’m always looking to deepen my knowledge and teach more effectively, but in the last few weeks I’ve come to see how contradictory all the information out there can be. Open up one article and its telling me that jumping back to plank is a good practice, very next article says never jump back to plank. We are overloaded with information, one yoga school teaches it one way, the next teaches it completely different, what’s right and what’s wrong?

In the ancient tradition of yoga where the practice was passed down from guru to disciple the information was handed down directly, there was little room for mis-interpretation. Even going back to how Krishnamacharya taught yoga, he was very clear in saying that it must be tailored to the individual. So why is it now that we have this blanket sets of rules that are designed to be applied to everyone? 

I recall a great quote from a recent training that went something along the lines of ‘the one thing you need to be most wary of is the person that claims they are 100% right, they are almost certainly going to be wrong’. The more I study the more I come to realise that I don’t really know anything for sure. While something might work for 95% of people there is always going to be the 5% exception. 

Getting to the Truth of Things
I subscribe to the theory that no one philosophy or teaching is 100% complete or correct. We need to find our own truth and live/teach according to that. But how do we do that? 

In the Yoga Sutra’s of Patanjali we are told that there are three ways to gain more correct knowledge. These are though:

• direct perception (our own experience),
• reasoning (based on what we know i.e. if there is smoke there must be fire), and
• validation (through testimony or consultation with a respected authority).

Many yoga traditions advise that direct experience is the path to true knowledge, wisdom and spiritual growth. In other words you need to be your own guru.

I'll use the example of jumping back to plank and establishing whether that is a good or bad thing, how do we get to the truth of that?

Well firstly, don’t blindly accept the advice you are receiving, go do it, see how it feels, film yourself doing it, does it look strongly supported/safe? What happens around the core/lower back? 
Then get a few friends with different levels of experience to do it, or observe people doing it in a mixed level yoga class. Does it look safe/strong/supported? 
Based on what you know from your study and what you have just learnt observed, how would you safely instruct this transition? What are you trying to achieve? Do you really just want people to go from standing to a plank position, does the jump add any value?

Find the truth that works for you based on your training and personal experience and if needed seek the advice of teachers that you respect and trust. But most importantly recognise that every one of your students is a unique being, what works for one might not work for the next. If you have asked them to straighten their arms 3 times and its still not happening, don’t think its because they aren’t listening/trying, have a discussion with them to find out what they are feeling, give them alternatives and a way to practice that is safe for them.
​
In the case of carpet stains, or that niggling injury that won’t go away. We don’t really want to mess about with home remedies if we don’t really know what we are dealing with (just to learn from direct experience), there is too much at stake. This is where we consult with a respected authority and as much as I hate to say it, I really don’t think Google is a respected authority.

I don't think the amount of information out there is the issue, I think it's more our filters that are somewhat broken. Many of us are disconnected to ourselves, we've forgotten how to feel into our bodies and discern for ourselves what does and doesn't work for us. We are often looking outside of ourselves for answers simply because it seems like the easy way out.

Seeking the easy way out really neglects the work that develops true wisdom and will also prevent us from fully experiencing what is on offer to us in every moment.  

I choose to be my own guru, I have nothing but love and the utmost respect for all my teachers. I'm grateful for all the information that's out there in the world and I will forever be thankful for goggle. However, I know that all of this is nothing more than a guide, it's my responsibility to find my own path and what rings true to me and the best way I've found so far to do that, is to give it a test run for myself.

I'll never tell you that my way is the right way, I can only tell you why it works for me. Maybe if we all acknowledged that every single one of us on this planet has their own unique truth and nobody is right and nobody is wrong there would be a little more love and respect and less war. 

That's a perfect little lead in for me to finish off and share one of my favourite Sanksrit words.

Svarupa - the shape of your soul. Your own condition, character, nature. Wise, learned.
​

*gentle breath-based vinyasa flow and practices with slow controlled diaphragmatic breathing. Some practices such as hot and power yoga will intentionally activate the SNS to induce a greater state of relaxation and deeper PNS response at the end of class.

References:
1. http://healthyliving.azcentral.com/benefits-yoga-parasympathetic-nervous-system-1519.html
2. The Concise Human Body Book (Steve Parker)

​While here in Mysore I’m doing two yoga classes a day. The morning practice is at least 2hrs of Mysore style Ashtanga. This is a strong practice that follows a set sequence that is very much the same day in, day out. It’s done independently with everyone in the room moving in time with their own breath. The only thing that changes each day is how I approach it.
 
In the afternoon I attend a flexibility and back bending class. This is 1hr 45mins and also follows a set sequence for a while; then individual postures are given. This is a class I felt really drawn to, it’s an area I know I have lots of potential for growth. In each class I’m taken to my physical limit, to that point of discomfort where you don’t know how much more you can take.
 
Every time I step onto the mat here I’m confronted with the same challenges, the poses where I feel seemingly stuck. There is no escaping these postures, they are there waiting for me each and every class but I have a choice – to truly work on them, or to avoid it just brushing over the surface.
 
I came here to work, to break though some of those physical and mental blocks so most days, unless I’m flat out exhausted, I do the work.
 
It’s the same things I face repeatedly – lack of confidence, doubt and trust.
What translates on the mat reflects in life  #truth
 
As I began really contemplating this today I started to see the link to injuries and relationships – yes yoga links to pretty much everything if you think deeply enough on it.
 
I had lots of confidence in my wrists; I was fearless throwing my weight into them however I pleased… until I hurt them. Similarly, I was totally open to love, fearless, until I got hurt a couple of times…
 
Then after hurt comes fear, what if I get hurt again?
 
Through my practice I’ve come to see lots of irrational fear and protection over my wrist, things I’ve been avoiding in case I hurt it again. All this does is further solidify the fear, causing stagnation and a slowing of growth into full potential. Has this pattern of hurt followed by fear translated into my life off the mat…to relationships…even if only unconsciously? While it’s hard to admit, I think the answer would have to be a yes.

So how to we overcome this?
 
My strategy has been to use my body as a vehicle and the yoga practice as a tool.
 
Rather than going for practices that I typically do at home, those that play to my strengths, I seek out practices that really challenge me. Each day here I put myself in a position where I have the opportunity to work on areas that I feel could be strengthened.
 
The arm balance transitions during the ashtanga practice teach me to again trust my wrists, to have faith that I won’t hurt them again, to adapt where required and to move mindfully. Handstands in the middle of a full room teach me to have confidence in my ability outside of my house (it’s silly but I have no trouble with this at home but really struggle when I step outside). The drop-backs (standing position to floor backbend) tackle fear for me in the most confronting way possible. For me there is nothing scarier than falling backwards in the hope that my hands find the ground and not my head! 
 
As for the back-bending practice, well that whole practice is opening up totally new realms for me. It’s taking me places my body has never been, it’s causing lots of physical discomfort and pushing me into the space of vulnerability and openness constantly.
 
I’ll say it again…
What happens on the mat, translates into life.
If we repeat anything frequently enough, it becomes a new way of being.                                                      
​Do I get bored doing pretty much the same practice every day?
Absolutely, but again this is something that I feel is needed in my life, I normally have so much freedom and choice. This practice is something that I commit to unconditionally for 2 months, it’s the challenge of showing up even when I don’t feel like it, when my body is aching/tired and the creative part of my yoga self feels like it’s dying. 
 
More and more I come to see that it’s not at all about the postures, the real story and magic lies beneath the surface. It’s everything that’s taken place to make that expression of the pose possible.
I’m seeing that in many postures it’s not my body that is holding me back; it’s my mind.
As I break through these mental barriers the seemingly impossible postures just come, almost naturally. 
​
Don’t get me wrong, physical limitations still play a hugely significant role and there are loads of postures where all the positive thinking in the world will not get me there. In this case though I continue moving in that direction completely content with non textbook looking yoga postures because I know that beneath that posture is a whole lot of work and more progress than will ever be seen by the observer.
 
Take this as an example; here is a picture of the physical progress of my Urdva Dhanurasana (wheel pose) over the last 3 years:                 ​
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Initially what you may notice is that my feet and hands are slowly but surely getting closer together, my back is bending more. What these picture don’t convey is what’s taken place to get me to this point. The struggles, the tears, the ‘this pose is hell on a stick’ phase, the ‘avoidance’ phase, the changes to my overall posture, the change in my physical and non-physical openness, the change in my ability to surrender, to be vulnerable. As my body opens, my mind opens, for those of you who know me well you have probably also noticed this over the last 3 years.
 
Yoga is so much more than a physical practice; with a little dedication there is so much to be gained.
​
I encourage you to step onto your mat recognising that it is a training ground, a mirror for life, bring your awareness to the mat and see what comes up!

Many yoga traditions observe full and new moon as a rest day from physical practice. For a long time I had no idea why, then one day my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to look at it in some detail.

Interestingly humans contain 45 – 73 % water with babies having higher water content. Similarly around 71% of the earth is covered by water. During the full moon (sun and moon in opposition) and new moon (sun and moon in conjunction) the gravitational forces are combined resulting in a higher than normal gravitational force being applied to the earth, this gives greater extremes in the ocean tides. 

Although many scientific studies suggest that the gravitational force only acts on open bodies of water, and not the closed system that is our body, many people still believe that the full moon does make us a little crazy. 
 
A number of scientific studies have found links to the moon cycles and human/animal behaviour although there seems to be much debate as to whether it is a true scientific phenomenon or just a placebo affect. 

Regardless here are some interesting findings from published studies:

• During the full moon, on average we sleep 20 minutes less and it takes longer for us to fall asleep.
• The electrochemistry of the brain in epileptic patients increases around the new moon making seizures more likely.
• Coral spawning is synchronised around the full moon.
• Cat and dog admissions to vet clinics increase around the full moon. One study found a 23 percent increase in cat visits and 28 percent increase in dog visits around the full moon.

The 29.5 day moon cycle is also in accord with the average human menstrual cycle. It's said that this is the best-known example of the way our bodies (over millions of years of evolution) have synchronised with the rhythms of the moon. 

Image Source: www.timeanddate.com
​The yogis didn't base their moon day rest period on any current western science, as far as I understand it the practice was carried over by Pattabhi Jois (the founder of Ashtanga Yoga) who was a student and later a professor at the Sanskrit College in Mysore. At this college they did not teach students on the full moon and new moon days, it was believed that the children simply didn't learn well on these days, particularly new concepts. When Pattabhi Jois began teaching yoga he carried over this rest period which has since been adopted by many other teachers and yoga lineages.

Like all things it's completely subjective, the best way to draw a conclusion, look objectively at your own personal experiences and see if you have any correlations with the moon cycle.

In general it's said that during the full moon we can feel more energised, have more stamina – this can lead to injury. Our emotions are amplified, a little anger can escalate to a lot of anger and a little happiness can easily increase to extreme happiness.  We can become more sensitive to details.
The full moon is a great time for manifesting and making progress toward our goals. 
 
The new moon is said to bring a sense of calmness and it's a time where we can feel quite grounded and low on energy. The new moon with its darkness is like a blank canvas, a time that feels more void/empty, a great time for clearing house and setting intentions.

Through my own personal experience I have no doubt that certain phases of the moon have a tangible impact on me. I’m full of energy around the full moon. Looking back over the last 3 years, I’ve been injured twice around the full moon from simply overdoing it. This has been a great lesson for me, I now follow the moon cycle and either take full rest on the moon days or do a more gentle flow or yin class.
 
My sleep is also impacted by the full moon, the last full moon here in India was no exception. It was an extreme case with lots of restlessness and around 2 hours less sleep than normal, despite following my usual routine. 
 
During the new moon I have a tendency to become more reflective and withdrawn. This is a time where I generally like to be alone and spend more time sitting, reading, reflecting, and journaling.

Are you curious as to whether the moon cycle plays a role in your life?
Why not add the moon cycle to your calendar/journal and take note how you feel on days of the full and new moon, you might be surprised to see some common themes. It' said that their energetic influence extends a few days before and after the moon.

If you use Google calendar there is a cool add on in 'Other Calendars' called 'Phases of the Moon' that you can overlay.

If you have any interesting revelations then please feel free to share.

Sources:
http://science.time.com/2013/07/25/how-the-moon-messes-with-your-sleep/
http://www.livescience.com/37928-ways-the-moon-affects-animals.html

Today as I pondered my upcoming trip to India I had this strange excitement come over me, it was that feeling of being excited to go home. This got me thinking, how is it that going overseas feels like coming home?  I'm sure it's not the backpack wardrobe, the uncomfortable beds or the challenge of not being able to achieve simple things in a timely manner, so what could it be?

I did the math and to my surprise in the last 3 years (since making the decision to leave the corporate world) I've spent almost 50% of my time overseas, mostly in Bali and India. The longest stretch I've been home for was 8 months. No wonder I'm confused about where home is!

Each time I've returned to Australia its been with the thought 'this will be my last trip for a long time, I'm ready to settle, I should throw away that old backpack, it won't make it through another trip', yet here I am once again with a plane ticket, that same old backpack and a visa for India in my hand.

All of my trips in the last 3 years have revolved around yoga, each one has been a deep inward journey, the type where you are constantly working on yourself, observing, learning and growing. What can I say I love the work and being immersed in the practice!

In the last 3 years, yoga has literally become my life. It's now far more than a hobby, its my grounding, it's my job and pretty much everything I do somehow links to it.
I'm in this yoga thing 24/7 and if I'm to be honest at times it's hard to switch it off, to find that division between my own personal practice and what I'm putting out there as a teacher.

When back here in Australia I often find myself moving through my own personal practice only to find a cool sequence of poses that I feel the need to write down, to share. I'm taking myself out of that personal experience to put my teacher hat back on. In this dual role, I spend less time in my yoga zone connecting with my innermost self. 

When I'm fully immersed in my personal practice, living and breathing it without thinking about how I will share it, I feel most at home, deeply connected to the internal and external worlds.

They say that 'home is where the heart is', overseas feels like home to me because this is where I allow myself the space for my heart to be free, to connect deeply with what I'm passionate about, the practice and teachings of yoga. I get to selfishly absorb myself in the practice, to live it and breathe it, day in day out.
​
By no means is it always a walk in the park, often its really hard work looking that deeply but on the other side of the struggle is always that feeling of knowing myself more intimately that I did before, that deeper connection to the self, the place where home resides.  
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